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Many people have heard of the famous study that communication is 7% verbal and 93% non-verbal. Non-verbal communication include things like tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. While most of these signals are so subtle that we aren’t aware of them, research reveals that there are several different types of nonverbal communications that have an effect on how our message is received. This can be especially important when we are communicating with someone who has dementia who may have increased difficulty processing the spoken words and rely on the greater impact on the non-verbals.
Let’s first examine some of the most common non-verbals we use in communication:
1. Facial Expressions
Perhaps the most prominent type of nonverbal communication is facial expression. The look on someone's face is one of the first things we see when we look at them. Before we even know what they are going to say, we can tell if it's going to be positive or negative if the the person you are talking to is wearing a smile or a frown. So remember before you approach someone, be sure to wear a soft facial expression and a smile on your face to create the most positive interactions. Although many cultures have different communication styles, there are universal facial expressions for emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger and fear.
2. Gestures
The use of our body to signal or indicate meaning without words is referred to as gesturing. This consists of things such as waving, pointing, using fingers to indicate numeric amounts, tilting head, touching the nose, etc. Like facial expressions, gestures can be also be influenced by culture, although there are a few universal gestures, including movements like the shoulder shrug and pointing. Use of these non-verbal gestures can often times replace the need to use verbal communication at all. Has your teenager ever rolled her eyes at you when you’re talking? Enough said.
3. Proximity
Proxemics, also referred to as "personal space", is an important type of nonverbal communication for us to consider during communication exchanges. The amount of personal space we need is influenced by a number of factors including social norms, cultural expectations, situational factors, personality and level of familiarity. Many of us have experienced a "close talker”. This may actually be a result of different cultural norms. For example, in Argentina, the amount of personal space comfortable between strangers is approx 2.5ft, in the US it is approx 3 ft. and in Rome it’s over 4.5 ft. So be mindful of your distance, too close may make someone uncomfortable, while too far may seem uncaring or disinterested.
4. Paralinguistics
Paralinguistics are components of meta-communication that can affect meaning such as use of prosody, pitch, volume intonation, etc. This is probably best seen when used in the response, “fine”. If a husband asks his wife how she’s feeling and she says “fine” curtly and with sharp inflection following an argument, the meaning is quite different than when a friend asks her how she is feeling after hearing good news and she replies “fine” with a chipper tone and much enthusiasm. The tone and volume of your speech adds a lot of meaning to words, so the same word can sound very different when used with various paralinguistic factors.
5. Touch
There has been a substantial amount of research on the importance of touch during infancy and early childhood in development of behavior and social interaction. Physical contact is often used differently by men and women, as well as between socioeconomic statuses. For example, women often use touch to convey care, concern and nurture, while men are more likely to use touch to assert power or control over another. (Think about a woman who sees her friend and grabs her hand to offer encouragement and love versus a man who grabs his friend’s hand to greet him and exerts a forceful handshake to convey assertiveness and strength. In addition to the differences in gender for use of haptics, those with a higher perceived status will often invade personal space and use touch (such as shoulder tap or pat on the head) than those of lower perceived status. Using physical touch (hug, handshake, arm rub) as a part of communication can serve to reassure another when used gently and appropriately.
6. Body Language and Posture
The way that someone moves and carries themselves can say a lot about them, their mood and their state of mind. How would you guess someone is feeling if they have their shoulder rounded forward and their head hanging down looking at the floor? Elated or disappointed? Although many body postures can be more subtle as often identified by psychologist who study body language as it relates to love, work and relationships, such as the direction your feet are pointing or whether or not you are leaning towards someone while talking, movements such as arms crossing or hands on hips can be overtly obvious in meaning.
6. Eye Gaze
For people who can see, vision is the most dominant sense. This is why eye contact is so important in communication. The amount of visual interaction can signify a person’s interest, engagement or intent. Normal, steady eye contact is considered to be representative of someone who is telling the truth, conversely, someone with a shifty gaze may be perceived as lying or being deceptive. We also use eye gaze as non-verbal communication when we blink, stare, or leer at another. Anyone else feel a chill when a stranger seems to be looking intently right into your eyes?
8. Appearance
Perhaps the thing we are judged on the most by others is our appearance, which can play a large role in non-verbal communication. Going to a job interview or meeting a new potential mate can be greatly influenced by our first impressions. Think about how quickly we make judgement and assumption based on a person’s outward appearance. A man in a suit and tie can suggest a person of greater importance than a man in gym clothes and tennis shoes. Research also indicates that color can play a large role in our inferencing, hence the “power red tie”. Many cultures have a beauty standard that they follow and those who score in the higher percentile of attractiveness are often perceived as smarter and more successful, and often make more money than their less attractive peers. Have you even met someone new who reminded you of someone you already know? Do you feel a stronger attraction to them? Most do, despite the person still being a total stranger. This phenomenon can explain why looks play a role in our non-verbal communication.
9. Artifacts
Environmental objects and cues can also play a role in our ability to communicate with others. If we see someone walking down the street in fatigues, we surmise he/she is in the military, someone in a lab coat likely works in the health or medical field, and someone wearing a name badge is assumed to be in the service industry. The ability to relay information non-verbally is occasionally relied upon by certain professions, such as police officers in uniform which automatically garner respect and attention when encountered.
So as you can see, nonverbal communication can play a critical role in how we transmit meaning and information to others. We must remember to be consistent with our words and our actions in order to ensure we communicate exactly what it is we are trying to convey. The grouping of any number of these non-verbals together easily shows the relationship as to why they hold 93% of the communication power.
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