How to Talk With Your Dementia Loved One

Dementia is a progressive disease that changes the ability to comprehend the world around you. Subtle communication nuances, such as sarcasm and rhetorical questions, can leave your dementia loved one feeling confused. As a caregiver, It is essential to change your communication style to meet the needs of your loved one as they advance through the stages.

Communication in the early stages

In the early stages of dementia, often referred to as mild dementia, an individual begins to experience some difficulty concentrating, however they are still capable of participating in meaningful conversations. The following tips can ensure maximum success for communication.

• Don't exclude the person with dementia from the conversation. Speak directly to them rather than the caregiver.

• Don't assume that the person's ability to communicate is so impaired they won't understand what you're talking about.

• Don't rush them for a response. Give them a moment of silence to express their thoughts.

Communication in the middle stages

The middle stages of dementia, referred to as moderate dementia, is typically the longest stage and is characterized by increased word finding difficulties, frequent repetition of thoughts, loss of comprehension for slang and satire, and increased difficulty following along with conversations. Use the following strategies for successful communication.

• Ask one question at a time, and use simple yes/no questions if possible. For example, "Do you want some coffee?" rather than "What would you like to drink?"

• Minimize environmental distractions. Choose quiet rooms, maintain eye contact and speak slowly and clearly. Be patient and wait for a response and only help or interrupt if requested.

• Acknowledge what they are saying even when the message isn't 100% clear. If your loved one expresses they have a "sick arm", assure them that you hear their complaint, understand they need help and then ask simple questions to help clarify what they actually mean. Avoid criticizing or arguing by stating that what they are saying doesn't make sense.

Communication in the late stages

Communication in the late stages, also called severe dementia, is flagged by the tendency to ramble or talk about nothing and forgetting their own personal information and the names of loved ones. Around the clock care is typically needed a this stage. Here are tips to maximize your communication success.

• Approach the person from the front, meet at eye level and use short, simple sentences and yes/no questions.

• Use communication non-verbals such as pointing, gesturing and facial expression to clarify your message, and use touch as appropriate to maintain attention or specify a particular body part.

• Watch your tone. Maintain their respect and dignity. Avoid talking down to the person or using harsh language. Often, the emotions conveyed during speech are more important than the actual words. A happy tone conveys a positive interaction and ensures they feel safe.

In all stages, it is important to remember that although dementia affects their thinking, reasoning and memory, their feelings remain intact. Following the basic principles of use clear speech, adding appropriate non-verbals and maintaining a positive interaction will ensure that your loved one gets the most out of your communication exchanges.

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